Society today is comprised of two different types of people:
those who make the world a better place and those who make it worse
I am a special type of the latter. 
I am a guy who makes even the simple tasks into a complicated soul crushing grind.

I was the one who came up with late fees at the library and the video rental.
Lines at the DMV? That was me.
Underpaid clerks with attitudes at the hospital or city hall? 
Forms filled out in triplcate with the proper stamps and signatures? I invented that.
I call it "creating order from chaos".

I make it so a five minute errand becomes an all day affair of frustration and impatience, 
designed to turn the happiest, most relaxed citizen into a creature of hate, malice and spite.


I am the one who tortures you
I am the one who angers you
I am the one who laughs at you
I am the one who turned you into a hoop jumper

I make sure your game has rules
with penalties and out of bounds
I'll destroy your sense of freedom
I'll turn you into a hoop jumper


I turn your fun into a chore
spontaneity into a job
creativity into proper process
turn you into a hoop jumper

turn you into a hoop jumper
turn you into a hoop jumper
turn you into a hoop jumper
a stupid little hoop jumper


I am the one who torments you
I am the one who beats you down
I am the one who ruins your day
I am the one who turned you into a hoop jumper

I destroy your agency
your spirit and your driving desires
crush you with bureaucracy
small rules and tedious laws


I turn your fun into a chore
spontaneity into a job
creativity into proper process

turn you into a hoop jumper
turn you into a hoop jumper
turn you into a hoop jumper
obedient little hoop jumper


I am the one who strangles you
I am the one who plagues you
I am the one who hampers you
I am the one who turned you into a hoop jumper

I rid you of will to live
Kick you when you're all ready down
Laugh at your petty misfortunes
I'll turn you into a hoop jumper
turn you into a hoop jumper


It's not your fault, really. To get things done you must do as I say.
Grow up, get old, trade in your imagination for a scorecard of small afflictions
heaped upon you by people like me, creating work for the sake of work, process for the sake of process.
There is no escape. There is no way out.


turn you into a hoop jumper
turn you into a hoop jumper
turn you into a hoop jumper
an ineffective hoop jumper